Lets talk birth

Last Tuesday Grayson & I met up with some Mom's at IHOP. They were serving one free short stack of pancakes per person. They did ask that you donate to Children's Miracle Network who supports local children's hospitals. Its a great cause.

We didn't get to sit at the table with the Mom we've already met. I was bummed. Instead we sat at a table right across from her with two Mom's whom I've never met. Talk about nervous. I don't think I make good first impressions. I get so nervous that I tend to stumble over my words. Its very embarrassing. Anyways, both of the ladies were very nice and I did get past the point of stumbling over my words. I had some quite moments but was able to speak up & join in on the conversation. Both of them have itty bitty babies. The little girl is 7 weeks and the little boy is 4 weeks old. Looking at them made my uterus twitch. haha Seems forever ago that Grayson was ever that small. I was surprised by the remark of one of the Mom's. She said she can't wait to be out of the baby stage. My mouth almost dropped. I couldn't believe what I was hearing. I miss the baby stage! I know its not easy but I miss the cooing, the newborn cry, & everything else that goes a long with having a newborn. I have to admit I do have baby fever & have had it for a while now. Despite that I'm not really ready for another little one yet. My second time will come again but not any time soon. ;)

After one of the Mom's left at the other table the rest came to our table. I knew one of them & the other one was out first time meeting. It was really nice chatting with them. Grayson enjoyed "talking" with one of the little girls who is close in age with him. Overall I had a great time. It was a much better experience than the lunch date I had with some other Mom's from another group. I think it made a difference that everyone brought along there children.

Last Thursday we went to a playdate at someone's home. Once again I was nervous because most everyone was new to me. The Mother who was hosting is one that I met at the IHOP meet up. I walk up to the house and notice the front door is open. I debate about knocking but I realize its open so you don't have to. I open the door and walk in to see all the Mom's to my left sitting on the floor in the playroom. Most everyone had a baby(uterus twitch again). We remove our shoes & joined everyone on the floor. There were a few older kids. I believe there was a 2, 3, & 4 year old. There was a little girl there who is the same age as Grayson. He loved looking at all the babies. He stood there for the longest time just taking in everything. I didn't talk much right away but within time I found some openings. :)

Two of the Mom's there are Doula's. I think one just became one. The other Mom she's been one for a while now. At one point one Mommy left (to go to work) & another showed up with her newborn. The one who showed up later was so nice. Immediately I could feel a connection with her. Very friendly person. Actually they all are.
Some of us went to the kitchen to get something to eat. Grayson and I shared yummy chocolate chip muffins. He ate majority of them. My hungry boy.

There were a couple of new Mommy's there. It was nice when I was able to answer a breastfeeding question. I'm usually the one with all the questions. I haven't met too many new Mommy's yet.

It didn't take long for the muffin's to wear off. I went to the kitchen & got a bowl of oatmeal. There were little dishes of various toppings for it. Seriously some of the best oatmeal I've ever had. Grayson loved it too.

Whenever we went to sit down the ladies were talking about birth. Some of them talked specifically about their births. It was so wonderful to hear how all of them had natural births. Most of them had their babies either at home or at a birthing center. I was jealous about their experiences. I regret not having a doula, I regret having an epidural, I regret not having my MIL there when I first got to the hospital, & so on. I honestly feel like if I had of at least had my MIL there I wouldn't have had the epi and Grayson would have born even sooner. I was nervous about sharing with them that I had an epi and gave birth at the hospital. I decided to just go for it and talk about how I envy their births. Surprisingly I spoke up & did just that. They were all surprised that I gave birth at St. Francis & was "allowed" to have a vaginal birth. Julie the Doula talked about how rare it is now that a woman can have one. I didn't realize St. Francis was as bad as Greenville Memorial. Julie also talked about how she was glad St. Francis got rid of there doula program because it was a joke. Apparently they had some kind of quota to meet & a lot of other surprising things.

I talked to the Mom next to me and talked about how I know I need to quit thinking about all my regrets. You live you learn right? The only other option is to do it differently next time. She agreed with me. She told me about her homebirth. Her & her husband moved their dining room table and put a kiddie pool in. I thought it was awesome that she used a kiddie pool instead of buying a birthing pool. Those are so expensive. I asked her if she went to an OB during her pregnancy. She went to one, one time because they refused to see her since she wasn't having them deliver & go to the hospital they were affiliated with. I couldn't believe her OB was that way. Instead her midwives checked her out. I'm not sure where she went. Its appalling really.

I have pretty much decided I'm not giving birth at a hospital again unless there is something medically wrong with me or my baby. I have been thinking about this for a while now. I plan on giving birth at a local birthing center or having a homebirth. The idea of having a homebirth in the past was just unthinkable. The reason was because I was thinking I didn't know how well it would go at home. But now its much more appealing. My bedroom is big enough for me to have a kiddie pool in there. Sometimes I dream about my next birth. I imagine laboring in my bedroom with candles lit, very low lighting, and soft music playing. Having a water birth at home sounds so lovely. I pray I can achieve that when the time comes. I have a feeling I'll be hiring one of the doulas in my group. Mostly likely it will be Julie. She's so sweet and has a very gentle spirit about her.

I had a really nice time talking with all the ladies. Its so nice to be around women who believe in natural childbirth, cloth diapering, and etc. It was so hard to leave. I'm hoping in the next few months to have a play date at my house. I have a TON of cleaning to do before that happens.